Teaching and Lexington and Gender and Me #1

I started my first class today to become a High School teacher. While I am sure that this will create many posts on my experiences, I was interested in a few things that were brought up today.

I appreciated many tips that the professor offered for helping with keeping control in your classroom, but one stuck with me. She told us that Men were never to meet alone with students in the classroom. Why only men? Are only Men perceived to be sexual predators? Is it a sexual thing or a power thing? How does gender factor into this? As someone that is often perceived as a man, I listened to the statement with a sense that I should heed her warning too. I believe that all teachers need to be careful with meeting with students alone. It bothers me that the idea exists that teachers cannot be trusted to meet with their students alone, but it is good to have an open door policy for your own protection. We do live in a sue-happy society that encourages people to seek out others perceived to have harmed children and punish them. I think that women can be just as harmful as men when dealing with children. We should be monitoring all teachers and children to see how they are affecting each other.

Also, we talked about professional dress. I realize that I will need to dress professionally, but I keep getting the feeling that I will need to wear more "womanly gendered" attire. Sometimes I hate wearing feminine things and feel like a football player in a dress when I put one on. I hate wearing purses and only put on a little makeup. I don't want to grow out my hair and will have to figure out many ingenious ways of hiding my tattoo. My mom shakes her head whenever we talk about it as a family. This is one of the reasons that I want to be sensitive to how long I want to be a teacher. I think all of this bureaucracy will get to me after awhile.

Teaching is dominated by White, middle class, women. If Men perceive that they need to be watched while working in the field, aren't we as a profession sending them a message that they shouldn't enter the field?

Men in women's bathrooms debate, again.

One of my favorite blogs, feministing.com, posted about an old issue with bathrooms access and transgender people. Focus on the family has decided to put out emails about it.

I was talking to someone about queer issues in Lexington, and what I have found growing up here is that often they are silenced. I believe that it is because there is a lot of old gay money in this area and people are afraid to ruffle feathers. I get tired of the silence though. Bring on the protests, bring on the larger conversation. I do know that the Trans community in this town is often underground.

Honestly, why do we think that trans people are waiting to go into restrooms and assault people? This feels a lot like the lie that rapists are hiding in the bushes. 80% of rape perpetrators are people the victim knows.

Promiscuity by Ani

Until I can get around to another post, muse on this video.



How is promiscuity gendered? How does this look in Lexington?

* Thanks to feministing for this.

Reading Gender Daily

This evening I fled the residence hall for the solace of my favorite homework spot, Coffea. While I was finishing up my handout for a presentation that I am doing on Friday at a conference in Lexington on Heteronormativity in Higher Education, a friend (we will call him Bob) from a previous class came over to talk. His friend also came over eventually, and the three of us were discussing queer issues and sociology. At some point, a woman came over and stated, "My friend Amanda thinks that all three of you are hot, can she get your numbers?" My friend Bob stated that his girlfriend wouldn't be happy with that. His friend said that same thing. Then the woman turned to me.

My mind started racing. "Am I being read as a man? Who is this person? Are they straight or queer? Why would you ask for 3 numbers at once (surely I'm not included in the hot people)?" I looked back at the group of people the woman was referring too, and tried to take a quick read of any queerness that I could see. I asked, "Is she queer?" after saying a few words to emphasize the femininity in my voice. The woman replied, "She is bi." I told her that I appreciated the thought, but was not interested.

As I gathered my things to leave, I got the distinct impression the group of people were talking about me. The girl I think was Amanda announced to the table that she was going outside. I got my bag and headed the same direction because my car was parked on that side of the building. While I was heading towards me car, a man kept shoving Amanda and telling her to "Go." She was being shoved in my direction and I am pretty sure that the guy was telling her to talk to me. Maybe they read an interest in my hesitation?

This whole situation amazes me. I don't often pick up people in non-gay bars, and haven't really been asked for my number since being back in Lexington, at least not in public spaces (which I always assume to be straight anyway). How was my gender/sexuality read tonight? Would that have mattered? Could I have gone on a date with this person and freaked her out? Are my assumptions about the general population incorrect in assuming that they often aren't aware of in-depth queer issues? Am I overthinking all of this. It just blows my mind. I guess I am a hottie. I have a hard time thinking of myself as such, but that comes with the territory.

Chirp...Chirp...

So I am not the best at keeping up with things, unless I have accountability. Lately I have been working out more because I am in a program that makes me show up. Maybe I need to find a blogger group that will keep me posting. I guess I just wonder, between being a graduate student, hall director, vagina monologues co-director and queer activist, when do I have time for myself? Furthermore, when do I have time to write for this blog that is something I do totally for me? This falls right along with the question, when is action too much action? I always have a hard time saying no. There is always more to do to help others. I just feel a little worn out.

This week I have had several startling revelations:

-I am going to be doing the MIC program next year and am way excited about teaching high school for a little while.
-I'm wanting to bind but don't know how to go about it or when to do it.
-there is little to no space for Genderqueer people in Lexington or Kentucky at all. (comment on the blog if you feel differently or the same. Hope is good for me)

I just feel like the gender binary is alive and well in Lexington, and it makes me feel alone and without a place to find community. I would love to sit around with people and be ok living in between. As much as I love the Trans community, honestly, I don't see genderqueerness fitting in their either. Sigh. I'm too cool for ...gender school. Maybe that doesn't work so well.